My Life as "Grownup", Ouch!

s j f'n a

sjacobsfabian copyright 2005
continuous line art, a grownup self portrait

Peter Max-like? Nah. But "My Life as a Grownup" looks much more relaxed than I am right now. If I have to be grown up, it should be as a relaxed and carefree grownup, donchathink? This piece has some obvious things to say and some not-so-obvious things to say.

Unemployment has done less than nothing to lighten the mood, donchaknow? However, I really do like meeting other Etsy and blog artists while pursuing my dream. Needless to say, I'd like success to be the thing delighting me right now. Oprah says, "Dream it and anything's possible." Honey, I'm dreaming so hard! If I did it any harder, I'd be as comatose as a ten year old hangnail! Maybe I should take comfort in the "the trip is what makes reaching the goal worth it" mantra. And, really. Not that my work should even be whispered in comparison to Van Gogh but didn't he become famous AFTER he died? Pooh. Time's a wastin'. I'd settle for Grandma Moses, if I could. (not that that's "settling") Think I'll stick to complaining about life in my trusty bubble.

These days Bush's irritating face is in mine far too often, I sigh in dithgutht. (yes, I lisp (lithpt) - "disgust") Bush is a boob on the boob tube. How appropriate. Is it just me or does he smirk more when discussing pressing matters? And was he a monkey in a former life???? Found Proof that I'm right. No, he wouldn't bug me less if I had a real job. He'd keep on bugging me. Thanks, Lindsay for my book that counts down the days until he's GONE, GONE, GONE!! I love, love, love that the book is almost finished. Yippee-ky-yay. (Wonder if spell check will catch that word.)

On to more domestic complaints:

• There's spiders intruding on my sanity and my computer time by invading my personal space. Are there tiny spider maps with Mapquest directions to my exact location? I need to finish this blog entry!!
• Dastardly dishes in piles resembling the Chicago skyline (the dishes are "still life" at its very worst). mmm, maybe that IS some inspiration for one.
• My to-do list and bungling missteps just torture me. Too bad the command/z or contol/z keyboard function doesn't work for life's real messes.
• And when did the sun start causing so much trouble? Never gave one thought to being the window shade monitor when I was working a real job.
• The thing bugging me most right now? Our whiny ice cube maker that resembles a rude metronome as it relentlessly and loudly dumps fresh, half-made-half-moons. CRASH, THUNK, FWOP, it goes. It drives me momentarily bonkers. The initial shock of the noise is followed by me lurching out of my seat and a period of frazzled nerves. Me-thinks, hmmm, PTSD? It doesn't give me grief at night though! I pluck my hearing aids out - just for supreme control. That battle is conquered every day! And here I thought my days were dismal. Oh, waaaiiiiit. Oh well.

My job now? Looking for a job. Exhale. Woo-sah! Okay. There comes a time when "pessi-mistress" has to admit how lucky she is. Something'll come up soon and then maybe I'll write about the lack of time I get to spend in my too-sunny house with my on-demand ice cubes. Where else can I have a TV in nearly every room to keep tabs on smugly wayward Bush's final days in office? When I get a job, I'll longingly wish for more time to wish for more time. You know what I mean. Well, back to looking for an adult job and then the drawing board. Thanks for taking a break with me. See you 'round the water cooler. Til we meet again, happy traaails to yoouuuu!