Any Consolation I Can Get!
Whatever the tool, I'm not above silliness to come out the other side okay.
2AM - I haltingly rose for a visit to that room. Lumbered back to bed and laid down, delivering myself a pep talk. "Now just think of something wonderful and maybe I'll have sweet dreams." Thinking of my peaceful spaces...lazily dipping my toes off a dock (oh, I might drown inside Orca), the backyard (shit, the weeds could turn into Seymour-like killers), with my family (no, I'd lose one of my own and never rescue them), you get it - on and on. Like a bad hairball turning into a softball, picking up steam as it rolls downhill.
Well, I'm still up. My husband, getting ready for work and knowing my sleepless situation, asked a question. "Why don't you look at Boo?". In my sister's "speak" I reflect on that "he's rightchaknow" mantra. Seeing Boo brought a big smile to my face. Boooooo Bear! Thank you, honey. Just as soon as I get a chance to nap, I'll conjure up Boo. Ohhh, there's risk there too.
It sucks to be me. Not sweet dreams, just bed bug bites.
Boo's a honey, don'tchaknow? More smile-making pics on Facebook at www.facebook.com/Boo SPREAD THE LOVE! He's now one of my weapons. My REM friend. Like I said, "whatever the tool."
Update on my physical and mental state: As the day drags on, my pain worsens. I've begun to wonder if it's the pain that actually wakes me up at night. It never leaves me, follows my every move. Typical shitty night but I regret not taking my pain meds yesterday. Bravado and mind over matter are a crock. I finally took something after I napped today. I'm starting to believe that there IS a domino effect going on. The pain makes me anxious, the anxiety is making me sleep deprived, the depravation worsening the pain.
My next move is to try the gluten-free route to see if it helps. I am convinced Crestor DID make my pain worse. By stopping it att this point, as I told my husband, I think it just went from wishing I could have morphine-like relief - wishing for strong relief but not the death-type last resort kind.
Looking forward to making new friends,
Pained-in-Plainfield Suze
P.S. Fact: Fybromalgia is a migratory pain. Moving from ankles to hands, to neck, etc. This validation explains my inconsistence in locating the source of my pain. You'd think I was born Catholic instead of converting. My guilt causing me to worry. Will anyone believe me? It shouldn't matter but it does. Right now, I'm just happy to believe that my doctor, sister and lover are on my team.
Well, I'm still up. My husband, getting ready for work and knowing my sleepless situation, asked a question. "Why don't you look at Boo?". In my sister's "speak" I reflect on that "he's rightchaknow" mantra. Seeing Boo brought a big smile to my face. Boooooo Bear! Thank you, honey. Just as soon as I get a chance to nap, I'll conjure up Boo. Ohhh, there's risk there too.
It sucks to be me. Not sweet dreams, just bed bug bites.
Boo's a honey, don'tchaknow? More smile-making pics on Facebook at www.facebook.com/Boo SPREAD THE LOVE! He's now one of my weapons. My REM friend. Like I said, "whatever the tool."
Update on my physical and mental state: As the day drags on, my pain worsens. I've begun to wonder if it's the pain that actually wakes me up at night. It never leaves me, follows my every move. Typical shitty night but I regret not taking my pain meds yesterday. Bravado and mind over matter are a crock. I finally took something after I napped today. I'm starting to believe that there IS a domino effect going on. The pain makes me anxious, the anxiety is making me sleep deprived, the depravation worsening the pain.
My next move is to try the gluten-free route to see if it helps. I am convinced Crestor DID make my pain worse. By stopping it att this point, as I told my husband, I think it just went from wishing I could have morphine-like relief - wishing for strong relief but not the death-type last resort kind.
Soooo, here comes an experiment.
- Diet: Gluten free, cut back on sugar.
- Support Group: Reach out to some groups. As everyone knows, nobody likes a whiner. So my ability to be able to talk freely about this should be a real plus.
- Education: learning is a valuable tool and that I think will be an added benefit.
Pained-in-Plainfield Suze
P.S. Fact: Fybromalgia is a migratory pain. Moving from ankles to hands, to neck, etc. This validation explains my inconsistence in locating the source of my pain. You'd think I was born Catholic instead of converting. My guilt causing me to worry. Will anyone believe me? It shouldn't matter but it does. Right now, I'm just happy to believe that my doctor, sister and lover are on my team.
posted by Suze at
7:25 AM
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