My Life as "Grownup", Ouch!

s j f'n a

sjacobsfabian copyright 2005
continuous line art, a grownup self portrait

Peter Max-like? Nah. But "My Life as a Grownup" looks much more relaxed than I am right now. If I have to be grown up, it should be as a relaxed and carefree grownup, donchathink? This piece has some obvious things to say and some not-so-obvious things to say.

Unemployment has done less than nothing to lighten the mood, donchaknow? However, I really do like meeting other Etsy and blog artists while pursuing my dream. Needless to say, I'd like success to be the thing delighting me right now. Oprah says, "Dream it and anything's possible." Honey, I'm dreaming so hard! If I did it any harder, I'd be as comatose as a ten year old hangnail! Maybe I should take comfort in the "the trip is what makes reaching the goal worth it" mantra. And, really. Not that my work should even be whispered in comparison to Van Gogh but didn't he become famous AFTER he died? Pooh. Time's a wastin'. I'd settle for Grandma Moses, if I could. (not that that's "settling") Think I'll stick to complaining about life in my trusty bubble.

These days Bush's irritating face is in mine far too often, I sigh in dithgutht. (yes, I lisp (lithpt) - "disgust") Bush is a boob on the boob tube. How appropriate. Is it just me or does he smirk more when discussing pressing matters? And was he a monkey in a former life???? Found Proof that I'm right. No, he wouldn't bug me less if I had a real job. He'd keep on bugging me. Thanks, Lindsay for my book that counts down the days until he's GONE, GONE, GONE!! I love, love, love that the book is almost finished. Yippee-ky-yay. (Wonder if spell check will catch that word.)

On to more domestic complaints:

• There's spiders intruding on my sanity and my computer time by invading my personal space. Are there tiny spider maps with Mapquest directions to my exact location? I need to finish this blog entry!!
• Dastardly dishes in piles resembling the Chicago skyline (the dishes are "still life" at its very worst). mmm, maybe that IS some inspiration for one.
• My to-do list and bungling missteps just torture me. Too bad the command/z or contol/z keyboard function doesn't work for life's real messes.
• And when did the sun start causing so much trouble? Never gave one thought to being the window shade monitor when I was working a real job.
• The thing bugging me most right now? Our whiny ice cube maker that resembles a rude metronome as it relentlessly and loudly dumps fresh, half-made-half-moons. CRASH, THUNK, FWOP, it goes. It drives me momentarily bonkers. The initial shock of the noise is followed by me lurching out of my seat and a period of frazzled nerves. Me-thinks, hmmm, PTSD? It doesn't give me grief at night though! I pluck my hearing aids out - just for supreme control. That battle is conquered every day! And here I thought my days were dismal. Oh, waaaiiiiit. Oh well.

My job now? Looking for a job. Exhale. Woo-sah! Okay. There comes a time when "pessi-mistress" has to admit how lucky she is. Something'll come up soon and then maybe I'll write about the lack of time I get to spend in my too-sunny house with my on-demand ice cubes. Where else can I have a TV in nearly every room to keep tabs on smugly wayward Bush's final days in office? When I get a job, I'll longingly wish for more time to wish for more time. You know what I mean. Well, back to looking for an adult job and then the drawing board. Thanks for taking a break with me. See you 'round the water cooler. Til we meet again, happy traaails to yoouuuu!

Clodhoppers sreppohdolC

Walking many a mile has weathered these vehicles. CLODHOPPERS, a.k.a. oxfords, was drawn in charcoal with just a hint of quirkiness and distorted perspective to portray their warmth and imperfections. Mom lovingly saved these sturdy shoes, always wearing them to march in local parades. She proudly belonged to Polo's American Legion Women's Auxiliary. Having lived through World War II's trying days, Mom and other "town folk" took great pride in their patriotism, their servicemen and women and their hometown.

Things I miss about living in a small town full of oxford-wearing churchgoers? Everybody goes to those parades and the local sporting events outrank any TV shows. Farm boys, leaving chores behind, line up in formation on the field - ready to do battle with the "next town over". Don't have a ride to church? Floyd Wolfley could pick you up in his classic Oldsmobile that's seemingly stuck in 2nd gear's push button position. The charming cemetery on the north side of town tells a story of familiar residents known to its faithful visitors. And I miss the trusting neighbors. Not that my neighbors aren't to be trusted but there was a time when we really didn't obsess about locking the door. And if you ended up with a leg in a cast or had an operation? You were bound to come home to find the grass mown, your papers picked up and your mail brought in with supper in the kitchen. But don't count on finding out who your secret helper is necessarily. It's just the right thing to do. And Tommy, the delivery boy, could gladly come back if you don't have your $1.25 for the paper that you share with Grandma and Grandpa. Or how about those "dishes to pass" that made every potluck gathering a hit? By far the best feature of all? Living close to family and friends on well kept, tree-lined streets. There's always someone to play hopscotch or 4-Square with. And when things aren't good, those same friends step up to the plate with broad shoulders to cry on.

I sing the praises, albeit off-key, of quaint towns that predate road rage and stop lights. They lack the selfishness, cynicism and anonymity of big towns. Yes, I relish the embrace of my old hometown and its beloved familiarity. Representations of small town USA, these sepia-toned leather shoes exude personable warmth. Their soft patina and reliable platforms standing as ever-ready reminders of good times. Sad times. Sentimental times and small town values - Norman Rockwell-like in forgivable imperfection. Proof positive of their caliber, this comfy pair still hold a place of importance in my home and my heart. These tributes to simple substance and pure value seem to be unremarkable constants... but were built to last because they're made in good old U.S. of A. The shoes and the memories. sigh. If you've ever lived in a small town, feel free to share your story here.

Name That Artist

Long ago, I did a "grid" assignment based on an original masters' artwork. Wanted to add the master's name - " 'after' so and so " - but remembered that I forgot to remember. Forgotten memory. The worst kind. DAMN. So, here's the challenge. Can you name that master artist in one comment?

Hey, Wise Guys!

CORRECTION HERE! Big mouth (uh, that would be me) needs to shut her piehole and git in the truck.

In my "B. Farmer" 10/07/08 post I incorrectly cited the dollar bill as an example of printing with dots. I should not have used the dollar bill as an example for printing with dots. That's engraving! DUH! What WAS I thinking?

Methods utilizing dots? Offset llithography and inkjet printing. Offset litho lays down dots of cyan, magenta, yellow and black in 4 separate press stages. Inkjet printing applies all four simultaneously. Okay, okaaay... I know. Yeessss! You can, in fact, print just one color if you like OR any number of the combinations, a.k.a. CMYK. Or with what we call "spot colors". Enough of that.

Word of advice. If someone were to try counterfeiting with their desktop printer, they'd likely be paying a visit to their local police station. The FBI is more like it. Some people and I won't name names, have tried that bonehead move. Why would anyone try setting up shop with their desktop printer? Lordy, Lordy. I wonder if the number of those attempts is greater when times are bad, like now? Or is it an equal opportunity bonehead move? Are there stats on this somewhere? Just looked for info about that. One article mentions the FBI's estimate of 100,000 attempts annually. Who knew? Think "Present Day" Barney Fife would catch someone passing fake-o buckaroos? Nah. He'd still be too worried about the bullet in his pocket, I reckon. But he's a fake-o buckaroo too so don't try it, you won't like it.

The real puzzler is how come you guys didn't call me on my dunderhead faux pas? Big Mouth says, "Tsk, tsk." Class dismissed.

FYI: there's no truck in sight so "Big Mouth" hasn't shut her piehole, as you can see. I reserve the right to keep on keepin' on. Insert raucous laughter here.

Tip Time by Sharpie

Tip? You've GOT TO CHECK THIS OUT! If you're a repeat visitor, you know just how much I love line art, right? Got a link from Kris Jacobs that totally blew me away. With any luck this Lexington Herald-Leader web link will stay online for awhile. I, for one, intend to check out this novel decorating technique often. It took care of tons of wall space for a mere, teeny tiny 10 dollars worth of Sharpies. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Be still my heart.

Kentucky.com features an even more indepth article about the wall scenes. I read a blog entry that said that the blog commentor had done some Sharpee art in his closet. He/She also said it was "white out art" after their mom painted over his handiwork. Incidently, there's a link on that same blog to Justine Ashbee's Sharpie art. Whoa man. This is some crazy shit. Wish the towel that I did (at left) were done in Sharpee. Charlie Kratzer and Justine Ashbee are my new heros. Thanks to fellow artster, Kris.

Sharpie Haiku for you...
inspired by Charlie
I've huge need to snag Sharpies
destined for paper
sjacobsfabian copyright 2008

Coleoptera - A Friendly Hunt

Today's subject? Bugs. And wih this entry, today's painting of a scarab. They're reportedly good luck symbols but mythical connections aside, tons of artists are exploring "insectimania". Daily Painter, Susan Beauchemin, delves into unique styling with her WINGED INSECT painting. Her other watercolor artwork is outstanding too. Be sure to check them out. Absolutely stupendous work. She won't disappoint. Kudos too to PRINTMAN for his wonderful prints of a buggy sort. He's long been a favorite of mine.

Abundant choices blast away all insect-as-subject constraints. The estimate of "undescribed bugs" alone is said to be in the 30 million range. Oy vey! A staggering 90 percent of earth's life forms are bugs!!! There's about 360,000 kinds of beetles alone. Holy Jiminy Cricket!

My latest acrylic painting. SCARABESQUE is fun fantasm that I just uploaded for sale on my Etsy site. I took liberties with this rendition of a scarab. I told myself that I'd treat this painted piece like acrylic stipple art and then after I put down the base? You guessed it. I went the usual route with my wayward brushes. What is it about artists that keeps us from being disciplined enough to see a concept to fruition? Still, it's a happy accident that it turned out this way. Though I always hope to improve the quality of my work, this isn't a bad start. I promise to keep my next promise. Ooohhh... don't hold me to that; I might be in trouble here. FYI: I'll also be adding Scarabesque to Etsy in print format for a reasonably priced alternative.

Should he have a more personal name? How about "Legs"?

B. Farmer, can I be like you when I grow up?

Were I to have my wish, days would be spent searching for inspiration followed by days of "doing". Truth be known, sometimes I do. Guilty as charged when I'm oh-so-lucky. On one of those cyber journeys I came across stellar gestural, aka continuous line art, by Bridget Farmer. The bird link that follows is eerily simple and complex, all at once. Currawong, Australian Native Bird Etching In spite of its singular color, Bridget Farmer's "Australian Native Bird Etching" doesn't restrict its complexity and emotion. She's taken the brilliant style and set it to an etched print format. That process, in and of itself, is fascinating. Check out her blog for a sneak peek at how etching is done. BridBird's Blog Fascinating stuff, no? We'll revisit that technique with a more focused eye in the future. Back to line drawings. Buddy Guy by Suzanne Jacobs-Fabian
stipple technique in Rapidograph Pen

Rapidograph time! The above "Buddy Guy" portrait is done almost entirely with a simple, old-as-the-hills approach. Stippling. Stippling is something of a precursor to newspaper printing. The use of dots - small or large; spaced near or far - creating varying tones. It requires patience but is extremely effective. Not to mention forgiving. It's mindboggling to see the complexity that can be achieved with mere dots. Case in point, almost any printed material. Even a dollar bill. (see correction on this - entry dated 10/11/08) That's engraving. Duh. Most images ARE, however, comprised of dots. Seriously. For those not familiar with the print process, take out the magnifying glass and see for yourself. Millions of dots - or NOT dots. Okay, enough of Printing 101. Back to drawing techniques. I can already see that this is gonna be a multi-entry blog subject considering the sheer volume of options. Are you a beginner? Interestingly enough, About.com has lots of links breaking down the methods. See http://drawsketch.about.com/library/blinktexture.htm for info on crosshatch, continuous, scrumbling, stipple... you name it.

The trick to continuous line is not lifting the pen or pencil before the drawing is finished. It really makes you think about your next step. No, there's no pen police but when adhering to strict technique, the rewards can be well worth it. My experiments in continuous line usually surpise me. "Anybody's Girl" (at right) is extremely simple line but sweetly efficient.

Combining stippling with continuous line or with scrumbling adds even more textural interest. My "Louis Prima" and "Muddy Waters" drawings illustrate this. Pun intended. "The Lip" (Louis) is actually my very first real attempt at a portrait in line! See? I told you it was forgiving! If you know how to draw a tic, tac, toe game then you already know crosshatch!

See you back here soon. Until then, try a doodle and let me see it. I'd love to post it.

Note to self: put The New Artist's Manual: The Complete Guide to Painting and Drawing Materials and Techniques Simon Jennings on my Christmas wish list. I'm never too old to learn new tricks. Woof, WOOOF! There I go botching cliches again. You fill in the blanks for me, k? Old dog, new tricks, get it? Thinking of a word to describe me. Oh - rhymes with "itch". Ha. Slater.

New artist on this block?

maronresur and bridgetfarmerprints, you're cordially invited to share your genius with the rest of us crows.

See for yourself why I love their art... G E N I U S
maronresur.etsy.com
bridgetfarmerprints.etsy.com